Now that we are already a month into the new year, that means Valentine’s Day is coming up on us pretty quickly. Whether you enjoy this holiday or you despise it, whether you’re taken or heart-wrenchingly single, you deserve to be treated with love. Not just on Valentine’s Day, but always.

Even if you are lucky enough to have someone in your life to bring you flowers and tell you how beautiful you are, you should never settle for just that. The most important love in the world is the stuff that comes from within — self love. If you do not know how to love yourself, you will never be truly happy.

How Can I Practice Self Love?

Self love is a journey, not an outcome. It’s not easily-attained or simple. It’s also one of the most rewarding things that you can do for yourself.

Self love is about accepting yourself for the person you are in this exact moment. I encourage you to look at the person you are right now. Even if you don’t have the exact life that you want (maybe you’re stressed with course work or a few pounds away from your goal weight), remember to take stock of what you do have. Take it one day at a time.

While it is important to avoid complacency and maintain goals to motivate us, it’s also important to acknowledge and accept the person you are today. You are not the same person today that you were before, in so many ways. You are stronger, more knowledgeable, experienced, and well-rounded person than you were before. You’ve made significant strides in achieving your goals and you’re closer than you’ve ever been!

Remember where you started. Notice how far you’ve come since that point. Celebrate this growth. Set realistic but lofty goals for the future.

Valentine’s Day Activities

As I said before, self love is not something we can achieve in a short amount of time — it’s a life-long process. Since I can’t guarantee the benefits of this feeling to you before February 14th, I’ve come up with a few other ideas for you to feel the love within yourself and share it with the people in your life.

Have a sit-down dinner with someone you care about. This can be something you do with your significant other if you have one, but it can also be with your girlfriends, a childhood friend you cherish, or a family member. Although spending Valentine’s Day with a friend or family member might be unconventional, remember what the holiday is about. It’s about love, so celebrate it with anyone you love.

Dress to impress…yourself. Although I know that I am beautiful without makeup or expensive clothes, the act of dressing up and doing my hair and makeup always boosts my confidence. While I personally feel my best in a nice dress and makeup, someone else might feel their best in sweatpants and a messy bun. Do whatever makes you feel the most confident and, most importantly, own it.

Practice self care. Take some time this Valentine’s Day to do the things that recharge your battery. For example, draw yourself a bubble bath and put on a face mask. Binge a TV series on Hulu. Blast some Ariana Grande. Paint your nails and cake your face. Spend exuberant amounts of money online shopping. You can read more about how I practice self care in my earlier post, the art of self care.

Send messages/flowers to your loved ones. If you don’t have enough time to sit down for a meal with someone you love, you can still show your appreciation for them by writing them a nice message or sending them some flowers. I guarantee that something as simple as “Thinking of you” will make their whole day.

Send messages/flowers to yourself. Remind yourself how beautiful, worthy, intelligent, and talented you are. Go to a local flower shop and buy yourself a bouquet of your favorite flowers. You don’t need a boyfriend to do that for you.

Take some time out of your workday to do something for yourself. On your lunch or study break, decide to treat yourself. If you love to exercise and you haven’t had much time to go to the gym this week, go now. If you haven’t had Chick-fil-a in a month and you’re craving it, go eat some. Or, do what I do: Do your skincare routine and paint while simultaneously listening to Ariana Grande’s Thank u, Next. Now that’s self love.

Listen to songs about love. Music can influence your daily life so much. If you’re having a hard time getting into the ~loving mood~ or you’re uber stressed from work, pop in some headphones and turn on a playlist to fix that. I made a Spotify playlist with lots of my (and my friends’) favorite love songs, which you can listen to here.

FaceTime your parents. Be sure to send some love to the two people who loved you first: your parents. They love you unconditionally and will support you through everything. Make sure they know just how much you appreciate them this Valentine’s Day.

Decorate your room. People are extremely influenced by their environments — so if your room is grey and drab, you will likely feel that way too. Stop by Target and buy a few decorations to make your room feel a bit more lovely.

Remember your blessings. With the amount of stress and negativity in our lives, it’s easy to sight of the good. Take a moment at the end of your day to write down the things you are most thankful for. If you’re religious, pray about it. Look back at your list when you’re feeling stressed again and I bet you’ll feel a bit better.

However you choose to spend Valentine’s this year — whether it be with friends, your significant other, or just yourself — make sure to fill it with love. Buy yourself flowers. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how strong you are.

Start your journey towards self love and treat every day like Valentine’s day. Remember to live by the holy words of Ru Paul:

“Girl if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”

Ru Paul