My best girl friends have recently given me the generous title of “Self Care Queen.” Every day I text them about the things I’ve done that day to take care of, or improve, myself. For example, I’ll text them a picture of a painting I just did, just because I thought it’d be fun. Almost every night I’ll snapchat them a picture of me in a face mask and lotion all over my body — a gift to my physical appearance. I’ll show them the delicious and healthy meals I cooked for myself. Although these things all seem so insignificant, they truly add up throughout the day to make me a happier person.

My love for self care likely stems from my lifelong need for perfection and overall overachieving nature. Ever since I was a kid, I have always strived my hardest to be perfect. While in reality “perfect” can never be attained, I still tried. It seems like no matter what I do, there will always be more to work on. Over the years, I’ve learned to find a balance between working hard and giving myself a chance to relax. This is what allowed me to finally reach my full self care potential — even to the point of helping my friends reach theirs.

I’ve taken my title as the Queen very seriously and I absolutely love helping others in their own journeys. Someone jokingly called me an “influencer” the other day (in response to my workout log) and I was seriously honored to have made a positive impact in her life. This is why I’ve decided to share my thoughts and advice on the art of mental and physical self care.

you can’t pour from an empty cup. take care of yourself first.

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Sometimes, self care manifests itself as restricting high calorie foods in order to lose weight and feel more confident in your skin. Sometimes it is going to the gym for two hours because you sat at your desk all day and need to stretch your legs. Self care can even be forcing yourself to stay up late and read your textbook because it means you’ll be better prepared for tomorrow’s lecture. I like to think of this as one type of self care: self-improvement.

Other times, self care can be eating a bag of hot cheetos because you’ve been craving them all day. It can be isolating yourself for a whole day because you’re sad and need to be alone with your thoughts. It’s watching an entire season of Netflix instead of doing your work because you worked hard today and deserve a break. I like to think of this as another type of self care: relaxation.

Both self-improvement and relaxation are completely valid forms of self care — and both are crucial for living a fulfilling and healthy life. In order to master the art of self care, first find some activities that soothe your soul… and others that challenge it.

How to: Self-Improvement

Everyone has things to work on, even the people we think are perfect. For example, there are always exams to study for, weight to lose, pimples to get rid of, and spaces to organize. Doing all of these things would make my life much more enjoyable. Making a to-do list helps me the most when it comes to self-improvement, because it allows me to tackle one thing at a time and feel super accomplished when it’s done. Find a list of things you want to improve about your life and get started! Here are some ideas:

• organize Google Calendar and agenda
• write feelings down in a journal
  
• stretch
  
• run on the treadmill
• do some ab exercises from home
• eat healthy meals
• drink water infused with fruits
• drink tea to increase metabolism
• get ahead in class reading and homework
• go for a walk, get some fresh air
• set aside some money in a savings account
• organize room
• wipe off dusty surfaces
• do laundry
• fold clothes
• meditate
• keep a gratitude journal
• get an early night’s sleep
• wake up earlier
• apply for a campus job
• meal prep

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How to: Relaxation

It is crucial to allow both mind and body to relax after an exhausting day of work or school. Without this recuperation, we would all be zombies just mindlessly moving from chore to chore. Allow yourself to veg out and have some me-time at least once a day. No lists, no alarms, no responsibilities. Just do what you need to do to relax. Here’s what I do:

• cook a meal
• put on a cute outfit
• paint fingernails
• light a candle
• drink a cold glass of water
• put on a face mask
• make a cup of hot coffee
• FaceTime parents
• put on an oversized sweatshirt
• shop online
• make a Spotify playlist
• watch trashy reality show
• catch up with an old friend
• do a skincare routine
• cuddle up in a fuzzy blanket
• paint
• play ukulele
• watch throwback Disney movies
• take a long bubble bath
• play Mario Kart with friends
• read a book
• bake some cookies
• have a dance party
• have a photoshoot with friends

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The key to a healthy and flourishing life is to have a balance of these two types of self care. First, work on hard on yourself. Make a list of goals and commit to them. Become the person you want to be. After all, nothing changes if nothing changes. Then, once you’ve been productive all day, don’t be. Rest up and treat yourself so that you can start fresh again in the morning.

However the act of caring for yourself manifests in your life (whether you decide to use my ideas or not), always remember to fill your cup before you pour it out for others. You will end your nights feeling accomplished and start your mornings rejuvenated. It’s a wonderful way to live.